Blog 23 - Competition

Blog Entry 23: 10/23/08

I learned a really important lesson today. I've defined what competition means to me, and how I can use it to my advantage. I think it really improved my opinion of certain people I used to look down on, and me realize goals through their perspective. By integrating my morals, what I want, and how other's perceive competition, I've created my own definition, which I think will serve me extremely well on my way medical school, and throughout the rest of my life.
Competition was a concept that I've only recently come to address. And until now, I've never consciously identified what it means to me. What I found was that I subconsciously defined it as process of defeating everyone else by any means necessary to achieve a goal. Motivation to compete would come from hopes and efforts in the failure of others; it also meant having hatred and jealousy when witnessing the success of others. This internal definition kept me away from competing in many things because it went against my values and morals. However, I changed my perspective by observing some students on this program.
Initially, I saw some other students spending disproportionate amounts of time with the professor, as well as going on some really awesome rotations. I framed their actions in the context of my old definition of competition, which built resentment in my heart. I felt that their intentions were to step on others to get what they want. I viewed them as my cold, heartless, and selfish; people that I have to beat. However, I was able to identify the condition of my heart, and I didn't like what I saw.
Our perceptions are colored by our beliefs and principles (Thank you emotional intelligence lectures!). It turned out my perceptions of these students were a result of my flawed belief of competition. I found that a little part of me wanted to have all the cool rotations to myself, and that others shouldn't benefit as much I should. I really didn't like thinking that at all, and it wasn't something I wanted to exist as a part of my personality. So, I thought about it in a different way, in other words I reframed it so that I could understand the perspective of these proactive students.
By reframing and putting myself in their shoes (Thanks again emotional intelligence lectures!!), I began to understand and respect them. In fact, I ended up respecting them a lot. I noticed that these are students who were motivated enough to take the initiative to try obtain what they were interested and passionate about. They weren't going to wait around for something amazing to fall into their lap. That's also something I've come to realize about life in general, things aren't going to come to you, you have to go proactively find it. I think I trace my old perspective to the way I was raised. Everything was pretty much handed to me, and I never had to proactively seek much of anything. When I didn't see amazing stuff falling into my lap as usual, I became stressed out. I saw other students benefitting, by being proactive... something I didn't understand at first. This program actually taught me otherwise, which is what makes the experience priceless. It's an essential life skill for anything one wants to accomplish.
I realized that it wasn't the intent of these students to take something away from me, instead it was to seek out something they wanted. My new definition of competition incorporates that. If everyone benefits that's great, but the reality of life is that there are goals that many people may have, but only a few people can obtain them. These goals are obtained by people who take the initiative to go seek it out. Their intent isn't to prevent others from getting to the goal, in fact, they're unconcerned with that. It's more of an internal struggle with yourself to go and get what you want because you realize it's not going to just be given to you. And people who proactively seek things out, deserve the rewards of that. I respect people like that, and they've really motivated me to do the same. By this definition, the success of others should inspire one to strive and learn from the success of others. It should build respect for those you see succeed and obtain a certain goal. At least, that's what it has done for me.