Blog 28

Blog 28: 04/11/08

I learned something extremely key today. However, due to its intuitive nature It is extremely hard to regurgitate it; but, it is too important for me not to try. It was an great epiphany, the magnitude of which I cannot describe. It was amazing because I was speaking from the heart, and realizations were flowing out of me like an endless, gushing river. It was knowledge which, up until know, hadn't presented itself in the forefront of my consciousness. The experience was an amazing high of energy, motivation, and gratitude. The final product was the realization of an essential personal truth, which I'm sure will let me spread my wings and soar through this amazing journey called life. First, I will introduce the context of the situation which lead up to this realization.

The morning was pretty relaxed. I ate breakfast at 9, and took a nap till 10:30. Around 10:35 I left the house to get my laptop charger fixed because the chord was hyper-extended, and it wouldn't charge my laptop anymore. After I dropped the chord off to Adonai(an apple certified store), I went to Cafe Los Cuiles with Justin and surfed the internet for a bit. At 2:00 p.m., I went home and had comida. I met some old homestays of my familia who were from Portland, Oregon; they were going to tour Sierras. After they left, I went to Cafe Italiano, and studied a bit with Jennifer. We ended up talking about our backgrounds, which was really interesting because they contrasted so much from each other. I'll have to make a completely separate post about that experience. I had Spanish class from 5-7p.m., which was fun because I learned how to give commands. After class, I went to Cafe Brujula to do research for my paper and read assigned articles. At this Cafe, at 8 p.m.,
is where my epiphany began!

In Cafe Brujula, I decided to call my friend Shuja through my Skype VoIP. Our conversation was about medical school. I think I called him because was thinking about medical school earlier that day, and was getting a little nervous and anxious. He asked me how the Oaxaca program was so far, and I told him that I was getting a little bored with the program, and my blog; I told Jennifer the same thing before. Although I was enamored with my surgical rotations, I was beginning to have problems extracting relevant lessons from my experience. Don't get me wrong though, orthopedic surgeries are still AMAZING, and I'm as giddy as ever watching them. But writing about cases and specific pathological details of certain conditions is something I'll learn in medical school. I feel like there's a greater lesson I need to learn before I can really appreciate the specifics of medicine. The realization came through the development of my blog. The blog posts of my rotations started to become regurgitation of case facts, instead of something more important. I stopped paying attention to the real lesson...How has this experience changed me? What have I gained from this experience? Has it matured me? Can I think on a new level? How does this effect the quality of life of the patient? Did I pay attention to how the doctor interacted with the patient? Why was the doctor interested in being a surgeon? Can I apply what I've learned through this experience to other situations in the future? The pathology and treatment of conditions is extremely interesting, but I know I'll learn all this stuff in medical school. I'm young, and at this point in my life it's essential to learn lessons that would allow me to mature, develop wisdom, and and force me to think in new ways. Lessons that present-day doctors have already learned before entering medical school. I realized that current doctors have skills to think on an abstract plane, and can use their minds in creative and new ways. Technical skills are only one aspect of medicine. I think I'm getting the idea of what it means to be a doctor now; it requires abstract critical thinking skills, wisdom, insight, which are learned through tough but deep life experiences; life experiences that force one to look for a deeper meaning than what's present in the obvious details.

However, I'm not downplaying the significance of my rotations. They've matured me in great ways. They've exposed me to medicine in a way I've never experienced before. It's served it's purpose in showing me that I wanted to be a doctor, and that I would love to be a surgeon for the rest of my life. Watching surgeries, excites me so much, and I get rushes every time I watch them. I would spend all day if I could in the O.R. However, I want to stop watching, and start contributing and getting involved. I think I need to approach my surgical rotations in a very analytical way. A approach that would allow me to understand what surgery is all about as an overall field. Also, I need to supplement my rotational experiences, with experiences that have nothing to do with surgery or medicine, in order to gain new insight and perspectives.

I also realized that, you don't want to be stuck in your comfort zone, because prevents you learning, changing, and gaining new perspectives. When things become boring and comfortable it's because learning has ceased. In fact, I realized the more random and interesting situations I throw myself into, the more I can learn different skills and lessons. If I'm in the same environment, it becomes a comfort zone because you gain familiarity with everything, and the rate of learning decreases substantially. Whether I intern at a construction site or at NASA, there are essential life lessons in each scenario. Doctors are able to extract the deeper meanings behind situations, which ultimately allows them to use more skills and improve their ability to give care to their patients. I feel as though medical schools look for people who are able to learn something beneficial from everything they do. Extracting meaning from experiences results in the development of critical thinking, analysis, and increased reasoning abilities; it forces one to understand the situation or context in more dimensions. It's an essential skill, and I'm going to practice thinking this way, by chancing the way I observe everything. I'm going to ask myself what did I learn from this experience? Why did I feel a particular way? How can I use what I've learned in the future? By thinking this way, development as a better person and physician is endless; it has no limits.

I asked Imran Khan, who's a really close friends with one of my best friend's Shuja, about what activities I should do in order to get admission to medical school being that he was recently admitted into medical school himself. So he went on to tell me his personal experiences. He was a student defender in the student judicial committee at his undergraduate school. The experience wasn't a clinical or research experience, however, he was able to gain useful skills and lessons that he could apply in being doctor. In his experience, many times he had to defend students that he knew were cheating, but it was his duty to defend them. It also applies to taking care of patient because doctors have to offer health care to patients, even if the doctor perceives the patient to have moral corruption. It made him an applicant with a diverse skill set, who able to bring his diverse experiences and use them in ways others couldn't. I feel that's why he was able to get into medical school. He told me about this before I started the program, and I only really understood what he was talking after going through experiences in this program. It's important to have diverse experiences, in order to have unique skills that will allow you to approach situations and problems differently and more effectively.

I think it takes a lot of maturity to know why one want's to become doctor. Through my rotational experiences, I'm slowly getting a handle on the reason I want to become a doctor. The more rotations I go through, the more it strengthens my resolve and reason to pursue the medical path. Hopefully, i'll come to a point where I can easily express that reason, and it doesn't exist just as a feeling.

The main point of this program is to give the premedical student a new perspective in their approach to medicine because medicine isn't just grounded in technical skills, human physiology, and problem solving. There's a human aspect to it, and it requires diversified life experiences that can provide the motivation for true empathy and awareness of those in need. The program is meant to mature the premed student, and prepare him/her for the journey through medical school, residency, and practice.